The Quotes of Ramses
by Clyde
Summary: Fourth Chapter FINALLY completed, I did a halfassed job on it, sorta. That one page took me forever to write. Thanks for reading my slop.
1. Part 1-The Search for the Scrolls Begins

EGYPT, 1934- An Undisclosed Location.  
Men are all gathered around the discovery they made. A mummy, just like Imhotep, the legendary mummy who came to life on two occasions, and mysteriously disappeared. This mummy was not banished or cursed. According to most of their observations, all of the prayers for the afterlife remained on this sarcophogaus. The diggers who discovered it were somewhat amazed, but the archeologists weren't interested in the sarcophogaus. They were looking for the legendary Quotes of Ramses, 2 or 4 scrolls with chants that could reverse time, or bring back immortality, death, etc. No one really knew what the scrolls could do, they had to find them first.  
"The scrolls are supposed to be around here somewhere, right?" Casper said to his colleague, Jasper, "I'm getting to the point where I believe these things don't exist." Jasper gritted his teeth when he saw three figures walk past in the distance. He couldn't see them, but he knew that Evelyn O'Connell, her husband Rick, and their son Alex were off digging again.  
"Well, they're not this time, we were first." Jasper said to himself. 


	2. Part 2-That Dictionary Sure Hurt!

Rick was stuck lugging all the equipment, as usual, while Evie carried only a single bag. Alex was off stomping random critters that came in his way.  
"Tell me again, WHY DON'T WE STAY HOME!?" Rick said, remembering his very recent scuffle with Imhotep and the Scorpion King. He touched his wrist where his Med-Jai tattoo was. Alex pointed out that the mark was seen many places they excavated.  
"Wouldn't you rather fight goofy dead people, or stay at home and fight with Jonathan about him bringing his dates to the house and telling backward stories?" Evie said, with a small smile on her face. Rick sighed.  
"I'm getting too old for this," He said sarcastically, continuing to drag the bundles, "So what are we after now that can destroy the planet or potentially kill our child?"  
"Well, the scholars call it the 'The Book of the Dead vol. 2', they're just being stupid. It's really called the 'Quotes of Ramses', they're a bunch of chants that Ramses the 1st shouted when he went to the Underworld. Supposedly, someone documented them with their megaphone that they keep to the ground to hear the dead people move around and whatever." Evie used her brisk, teaching voice.  
"And when you read a certain chant from this book or scroll or whatever, it can bring about the destruction of the planet," Rick said, mimicking Evie's teaching voice.  
"Well, yes, you guessed, didn't you?"  
"But, of course. Like I said before, that's ALWAYS the case." Rick said, a touch of irritation in his voice. Alex turned to his parents, shaking his head.  
"Can't I stay home this time?" Alex whined. He became quite a pessimist the year before, being he was nearly killed.  
"We die, Alex, you have to die with us, boy." Rick said wearily. They pressed on through the dunes, towards where Jasper and Casper were digging, when Rick stopped suddenly.  
"Alright, stop, stop, stop. I'm not dragging this crap any further," Rick commanded briskly, looking through the bag and tossing away useless items. Things like, a hairbrush, some toy that Alex tried to sneak along, etc. Rick picked up a single, bound, leather book.  
"WHAT DO YOU NEED A DICTIONARY FOR IN THE DESERT?!" He shouted.  
"Well, what if I need to write a letter, and I can't spell a word right or something?" Evie said calmly.  
"I doubt it, Eve." Rick threw the book with all his might into the horizon.  
  
Jasper was staring at the diggers when a dictionary flew out of nowhere and hit him on the head. He fell into the pit, and rolled until he hit the sarcophogaus. Casper had a good laugh about that. When Jasper finally crawled out of the pit, with quite a nasty bump on his head, he smacked Casper with the dictionary and dropped it to the ground. The cover opened and it said "O'Connell" on the inside cover. Jasper narrowed his eyes.   
"O'Connell..." He said, pulling his gun out.  



	3. The Sarcophagus

Jasper proceeded slowly in the direction the dictionary came from, carrying it with him. He held his weapon ready in front of him.   
Rick set up camp there for the night, and was digging through the bag, discarding useless items. Alex was taking a nap, and Evie was reading from a book about the Quotes when Rick froze.  
"Eve, did you hear something?" He said, hearing someone step in the sand. Jasper froze. Evie looked at Rick, cocked her brow and shook her head, continuing to read. Rick shrugged, pulled his gun to go check it out when Jasper came running up towards Rick, and he tackled him. Jasper's plan was a success, Evie didn't notice anything happened. Rick clubbed Jasper over the head with his gun, but only hit his shoulder. He tried again, but was then punched the face. He successfully clubbed Jasper out.   
"EVIE!" Rick shouted, with Jasper knocked out on top of him. Evie stood, and pulled Jasper off Rick, smacking the already-unconscious man.  
"He's married, you sicko!" She said, with a grin, and rolled Jasper down the dune. Rick stood up, rubbing his forehead.  
"Thanks for all the help," Rick said, sitting down hard.  
"Don't like a life of danger, dear?" Evie replied, putting her arms around him.  
"No, I just don't..like...things..." Rick searched for a witty retort, but he was still regaining his breath. He wrapped his arms around Evie and they began to kiss when Alex woke up, after the yelling, smacking, and rolling.  
"Can't have a single day, or hour, without this," Alex replied, annoyed. His main pet peeve with his parents was their constant kissing, this becoming very tedious.  
"Must be pretty damn happy," Alex said, looking away, when he received a light slap in the head from his mother, still kissing Rick.   
  
The Egyptian Sun rose over the horizon and beamed down at the O'Connells and diggers nearby early that morning. Alex was already up, reading from one of his mother's books, when he saw the diggers stare at the sarcophagus, pack up, and leave. The sun hit Rick and Evie's eyes and they saw the diggers had left.  
"Mom, Dad, they left a coffin or whatever-you-call-it there!" Alex shouted, sliding down the dunes after it. Rick packed up the camp considerably slow, Evie was digging for her kit somewhere in the clutter Rick made the night before. Eventually, the two made it to the sarcophagus, where Alex had already dusted it off, and was drumming his fingers along the hieroglyphs, like his mother does. He dare not open it, who knows what would happen.  
"Alex, son, hold this," Rick said, dumping a large pack of equipment into Alex's waiting arms. He readied his trusty revolvers. Evie dusted off the spots Alex had missed and read it.  
"By Anubis!" Evie yelled suddenly, causing Alex to fall, "They missed this! The Quotes are right in this sarcophagus!" Rick tried to open the coffin, straining against the stone, but then they saw a familiar mark on the sarcophagus. An Egyptian lock.  
"No, we need the key," Rick said, dusting the lock, "And I'll bet you a mountain of gold Jasper and Casper have it."  
"Which one?" Evie inquired, looking at the shape, "The shape is something we've never seen before!" The lock was shaped like a hexagon, and was very deep.  
  
Jasper's men were riding into the rising sun, and Casper was carrying something.  
"Hmm, this should fetch me a good price," The stupid man said.  
It was a golden statue of the god Horace. The base was in the shape of a raised hexagon.  
  



	4. Battle of Brains

"Rick, we should find a way to get this coffin open," Evie said. Rick felt along the   
sarcophagus, trying to find some sort of catch.  
"Damn. There's no extra catches. We can bring it back with us, I'll signal for Izzy   
to float in, we'll take it in the Magic Carpet." Rick replied, Evie groaning at the mention   
of the wary pilot.  
" 'I'll get shot again!'" Evie shouted. Rick rolled his eyes and started pushing the   
sarcophagus. He strained against the weight of the Egyptian artifact, the thousands of   
years old coffin did not budge against his push. He stopped and leaned on it.  
"Eve, did you see which way the diggers went?" Rick inquired. Evie shook her   
head. Rick looked at Alex questioningly and he pointed east, having seen the last of the   
camels lurch in that direction. Rick grabbed his pistols, hopped onto a horse, one that the   
diggers left behind carelessly. The steed reared back and sped towards the east.  
"Take care of your mother, Alex!" Rick yelled back. Alex and his mother both   
rolled their eyes, but gave no reply, for Rick was too far away to see, nor could he hear   
their yells. Evie turned back to the sarcophagus, looking over the hieroglyphs.  
"Wait," She said, looking to Alex, "this doesn't contain the quotes, it contains   
something far worse." Alex looked distressed.  
"I don't know what yet." Evie said, and Alex sighed. He began exploring, like any   
child would, when he tripped over some mysterious stone that was dropped in the tracks   
of the retreating diggers. He scraped his knee, and began shouting many profanities,   
thanks to a good lesson from his father and uncle the previous year.  
"Watch your mouth, Alex." Evie said, occupied, still studying the markings. Alex   
picked up the shiny stone without glancing at it.  
"Damn rock," He muttered, annoyed, and threw it at the sarcophagus. The rock   
conveniently fit in the lock. The little boy was stunned.   
"I wonder if I can do that with the locked closet in my room," He whispered. Eve   
looked at the rock and turned sharply towards Alex.  
"Alex! What did I tell you about solving things for me!? You can be smart later!   
This is Mom's time!" Eve yelled, distraught. Alex groaned, Evie angrily turned the key   
quickly and the sarcophagus opened.  
  
  



End file.
